Bereavement abroad
Friday last my wife received the dreaded phone call. The one that's always in the back of your mind when you live abroad away from home, from loved ones and family. Her grandfather had passed away. In times like these and in general I find it best to capture you emotions instantly when they are still raw.
25/10/14
"Ever since Papou passed, it feels we're fighting a battle with time itself. Our hearts too heavy to lift from the floor. It feels like we're living in some sort of augmented reality where days go by, go by right through us. The hollow empty feeling, the helplessness when a loved one dies and we're nowhere near them, we can't do anything. Like a rubbernecking motorist at an accident, we are there but we are not there. We try to comfort those there through hazy computer screens. We try to comfort ourselves. When I don't think about what I should be thinking of. I'm fine. When I do think of what I should be thinking of, I become reekingly sad, depressed and anguished.
The call you dread was received, we're still in shock. That lovely old man with a life well lived is no more. It doesn't bear thinking. It's hard to mourn on the other side of the world, cut off from the ones you love. You need their support and they need yours. But between you and them is a feeling of nothing, of detachment, different time zones, different emotions. Our bodies almost ache with the pain."
RIP Papou
25/10/14
"Ever since Papou passed, it feels we're fighting a battle with time itself. Our hearts too heavy to lift from the floor. It feels like we're living in some sort of augmented reality where days go by, go by right through us. The hollow empty feeling, the helplessness when a loved one dies and we're nowhere near them, we can't do anything. Like a rubbernecking motorist at an accident, we are there but we are not there. We try to comfort those there through hazy computer screens. We try to comfort ourselves. When I don't think about what I should be thinking of. I'm fine. When I do think of what I should be thinking of, I become reekingly sad, depressed and anguished.
The call you dread was received, we're still in shock. That lovely old man with a life well lived is no more. It doesn't bear thinking. It's hard to mourn on the other side of the world, cut off from the ones you love. You need their support and they need yours. But between you and them is a feeling of nothing, of detachment, different time zones, different emotions. Our bodies almost ache with the pain."
RIP Papou
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| Attempting what he loved to do, tending to his vegetable patch. |
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