One in a Million

An article in last weeks mX newspaper (a free newspaper that's handed out in Brisbane every day) has really struck a chord with me. The journalist in question Vanessa Stubbs describes down to a tee how social networking and 'friendships' are putting real life relationships in jeopardy.

I'm as guilty as anyone else of floating out of a 'real-life' conversation to check my Facebook profile. Most of the times I couldn't care less what's going on, but it's just has become second nature to me. Why?, I don't know?, a complete force of habit.

Ms. Subbs certainly hits the nail on the head in her opening paragraph -

"Friends are everywhere. We all have hundreds of them. Pictures of them doing stuff hit our screens every few seconds. They've even become a verb. We 'friend' someone, when we like them and with a click of a button, can banish them from our lives.
"But how good are these friendships? How indicative is the tally on our Facebook page of the relationships in our lives".
Dr. Damien Maher a lecturer at the University of Technology Sydney specializing in social media, says the nature of friendship is changing - "People have more friends and fewer deep friends. They have up to a thousand friends and it's changed what it means to be a friend. It has a different meaning than it used to. Before the internet, a friend was a person that you knew."
He adds; "Friend numbers confer status. Having more friends somehow means you're a more popular person. It means you're a nicer person, better to be with, you're sexier looking", he laughs.

Dr. Maher is obviously a smart man I've currently a mere 295 'friends' on Facebook compared to a lot of my friends my tally is low. And again I can be accused of adding people that I've met just once, that seemed fun, were fun at the time I met them, adding them without knowing a thing about them and sometimes in the knowledge that you don't want to get to know them. I'll confess to having been a status addict especially in my Bebo days, but I like to think I've turned that corner. Off the top of my head, I can list 20 friends that mean a lot to me that are true friends, that are veritable friends for life.

CEO of Relationships Australia Anne Hollonds says; "Spending face-to-face time, not computer-to-computer time is key. The problem is, even when we get face to face time, we're plugged in. Our phone sits on the table, lying in wait, right where we can jump on it if it buzzes."
One of the most telling quotes from Hollonds comes later in the piece when she notes just who of your 'friends' can you call in an emergency? - "You can ask yourself, in a crisis, who can I rely upon to give me emotional help and support in a time of need?. You might have 1,000 contacts but can you call any of them if you were in the hospital?"
Which is creates the most telling question we can all ask ourselves, just who can you rely on in your hour of need?, for me it would be my family first then at least 10 good friends I know that I can rely on if called upon. I really think people just need to take a step back and try to connect more with the people around you people you see and interact with every day. At the moment, 3 of my housemates like me have the faces buried in a laptop screen all of in our own insular little worlds.

I know a lot of people who readily spam Facebook and other social networking sites which the most minor and insignificant thoughts that come into their heads..that for some reason they think the greater world should know and or care about!. I know for a fact that I've had some of the most meaningful and deep conversations with my old housemates back in Perth although a lot of the times under the influence of some booze or weed but far away from the flashing and clicking of a computer screen.

Anne Hollonds pretty much sums up what I'm trying to say with this blog - "Superficial snippets are not going to create deeper bonds. These bonds are often actually created through times of hardship, not the fun times. You deal with emotional pain and that's a real human experience where we learn compassion for others."